Life Lesson #47 Just a in the hole kind of day.

Posted March 2nd, 2010 by Nealia

Sometimes I think I should not take a day off.  Today has been filled with sad thoughts and tears and I do not know why I feel this way.  I did get a good night’s sleep and nothing went wrong, but I still felt like I was in a hole looking up at the world.  Maybe hearing stuff about our clubs every day is getting to be too much.  Every time I turn around I hear about more things that make me wonder why I give a damn.  I have always said I did not want to get mixed up in politics and with that statement I meant Democrat and Republican kind of politics.  Somehow I started getting involved with the local clubs and it seems as if they have their own brand of politics and now I am smack dab in the middle of it.  I wonder if I should just walk away and not care about anyone else but my barn or should I continue to pound my head against the wall and try and help the club.  I do not know how things that seem so black and white to me can look so different to other people.  I also know that my people and horses should do fine in the shows and in the high points as they always have so no matter what the club decides on we usually come out OK.  I do not want to appear to be throwing a temper tantrum as others have, but I am really getting to feel like it is not worth being upset and worrying over everyday.  When is it time just to say, I have had enough.  It is so much easier to just worry about my barn and SBR than it is to worry over the shows in our area.  I am sorry I got Mark involved as he is always in the middle now.  If I walk away, it could make it tougher on him.

Today at my lowest I decided to watch the EllenShow as that is always a safe bet that it will make me feel better.  It did bring my spirits up but did not make my worries go away.  The show is about having fun and doing good things, so who could not like that?

I am sorry that I do not have much writing in me tonight, maybe tomorrow.

The dogs and I did  get the laundry done, but it took me all day as I kept forgetting to turn on the dryer. I guess I was distracted or maybe I am just getting old.

I wish the dogs could remind me when I forget things like turning on the dryer.

I am THANKFUL that we are not losing our house like soooo many people are now, because they have lost their jobs. THANK GOD for the horses and the people who LOVE the horses.